What are plausible responses when you suspect that a witness or an informant is emailing or calling you and begging to meet with you?
A list of stories to use when you want to avoid further contact:
1. I'd love to meet with you, but my dog died today and he was sooo fond of the crystal blue water in Nassau that we are having him cremated so that we can scatter his ashes while hang gliding over the white sand beaches of Nassau. Ciao.
2. I think I was bitten by a brown recluse spider. My leg is swelling and I have this huge, hard red area right on my thigh, a fever that is worsening by the minute, and I've got to run throw-up before the ambulance gets here…click.
3. Oh my friggin God! All I did was flush the toilet – I swear – and the water won't stop. I'm standing in water up to my ankles and the plumber still isn't here! This is horrible and we'll be in a hotel for days. Can I call you back another time?
4. I think you've been screwing my boyfriend behind my back and now you both want to kill me. I will be talking it over with my psychiatrist this afternoon and he'll tell me if I should meet you or not, but don't hold your breath. Click.
5. Answer the phone and start one of these recordings at the same time (repeat as often as necessary):
Number was successfully traced
The call you have made requires a coin deposit
Your call cannot be completed, please check the instruction manual
The phone you are calling from is not in service
Your line has been temporarily disconnected
The number dialed cannot be reached from your area
Okay – here's an UPDATE on 28 January 2013 @5:45pm EST: Phone Recording Archive is no longer available. Apparently the website owner has discontinued the site or hosting for it. I have found a few websites with same / similar recordings:
Telephone World - Miscellaneous Automated Intercept Telephone Recordings
Art of Hacking Sounds
Bell System Recorded Announcements
Image: Incredibly Busy Man 2005 © Victor Prikhodko / 2010 © iStockphoto.com
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